I’m on a high.  Life is so good! I just celebrated my 40th birthday yesterday (and have been doing so all month and will continue to do so for the next 11!). I think birthdays are the best!  I don’t think enough of us celebrate life enough.

I’m not shy.  I’m not modest.  I like attention.  I like gifts.  I like people to tell me why they love me.

I also like to tell people why I love them.  I like to create surprises for my people.  I like to buy them perfect presents.  I like to plan parties and dinners to show my love and excitement.  Gifts on Valentine’s Day? Yes please.  Cards on Easter? Yup. Life is too hard to not celebrate all the little moments throughout the year.

We are here to give and receive love.  That’s it.  At the end of life, it’s all that will matter, right? Did you love hard enough? Were you loved enough?

Well, I felt it.  I have felt the love. And all the other feels too.  On Saturday my generous, adorable husband and stylish, thoughtful mom threw me the BEST party.  There was wine, cheese and crab dip. There were twinkle lights, good music, tear jerker toasts, and there was dancing. Although not enough if you ask me.  I gave demerits to those who were not dancing.  And…there was copper.  So much copper that makes me so, so happy.  I can honestly say it was the BEST birthday party yet.

At times it felt over the top in the days proceeding.  I was in on the plans my people had for me. Do I deserve a venue rental?  Is a catered meal over-the-top?  It too expensive and vain to get my make-up done for a birthday party? That’s just for celebrities and The Real Housewives. Not silly ol’ me from Mt. Airy.

On top of all that, I went on a trip with some fabulous friends earlier in the month to celebrate my upcoming milestone birthday and shared a fun dinner with family last weekend.  Then to round it all out, we celebrated with our sweeties last night with dinner and cake and sweet, handmade presents. Dave shares my birthdate even though he already turned the big 4-0 last year. Ben’s 11th birthday was ten days ago, so September is a big month for us.

So I have been celebrating me with my favorite people a lot lately.  And it feels amazing.  But as a typical female human, my next thought is guilt.  Shame. Do I deserve it?

Along these lines of feeling unworthy of such joy and happiness, I’m currently in a fabulous season of life because Kelsey started kindergarten so both kids are in school/on the bus for EIGHT HOURS A DAY! It is freaking spectacular but I’m a little embarrassed  to be staying at home alone without a child for the first time in eleven long years. Maybe embarrassed isn’t right. I feel like I should be.  That I should feel guilty.

I know that is ridiculous.  I speak and write about my two medically fragile kids and all the challenges that adds to our life. After multiple diagnoses, surgeries, ambulance rides, illnesses and therapy each a week for two kids, no one is going to think less of me for taking a little break right?  No way! And I shouldn’t feel any self-consciousness for it, but the feeling of having enough free time to breathe on a daily basis is new to me.  It feels crazy.  Crazy awesome…but crazy.

My Fall of Fun is well underway and proving to be as amazing as I dreamed about.  I’m feeling so loved, so blessed and so…happy.  It’s weird.  I recommend it to everyone.  Treat yourself.  Spoil yourself.  Let your people spoil you. And don’t feel guilty about it (easier said than done). Happiness is not overrated.

 

***Thanks for reading and sticking with me.  I know it’s been awhile since I’ve blogged but since I have all this free time now (ha!), I want to write more.  You can also find me on Instagram @copperluck to follow the ins-and-outs of our “special” life.***