Help and Time

Months ago I prayed very hard for God to send me some helpers.  We had so many questions in regards to Kelsey’s health, irritable mood, and slowed development.  Every adult we came in contact with had suggestions.  Constipation?  Frustration?  Teething? Low muscle tone?  High muscle tone? And the list goes on and on.

It seems we have found a root of Kelsey’s struggles–seizures.  And if I think closely, God answered my prayers by sending a lot of helpers to get to that point.

We tried cranial sacral therapy, and while the chiropractor was very helpful, she didn’t “solve” our problems.

We saw a developmental optician.  She had a lot of good guidance and answers and has helped us in so many ways, but she also told us not to worry about the jerks that would later be diagnosed as very serious infantile spasms.

We met with Ben’s beloved orthopedist and she prescribed AFOs (leg braces to correct misalignment and weakness).  The first pair didn’t work so we tried a second.  Not those either.  Kelsey’s foot kept slipping up and out of them, no matter what adjustments were made.  The doctor then told us to stop using the braces because they were making Kelsey more awkward.  That was a relief, but she’s still working hard to do what comes so naturally to most…and still isn’t walking at 25 months old. So we’re left to wonder if that was the right decision…to do nothing.

The orthopedist said we needed to add once-a-week physical and occupational therapy to Kelsey’s already packed therapy schedule.  We’ve learned some good techniques, and what her needs and goals are, but we haven’t made a ton of progress in either department.

As it stands, Kelsey has:

2 Physical Therapists

2 Occupational Therapists

1 Speech Therapist

1 Educational Therapist

1 Vision Therapist

She has a pediatrician, developmental optician, an ENT, a neurosurgeon, a neurologist and an ophthalmologist.

She has future appointments to add a developmental pediatrician and a second, private speech therapist to her list of people.  And today, a developmental nutritionist was recommended to make sure she’s getting enough of what she does need and not too much of what she doesn’t (i.e. sugar).

Who’s tired?  I AM!!!  I’m exhausted.  Guess who else is exhausted?  KELSEY!

Lately she’s been manageable…playing…happy(ish)…and trying new things as long as she doesn’t have to perform for strangers (non-immediate family members).  And everyday we are asking her to perform.  And it’s not working…therapy, that is.

Right now, more than helpers, I think she needs time.  That and to be left alone.  Dave and I wonder how long the seizures have been the root of her challenges.  Six months?  Nine? Twelve?  It’s been over a year that we’ve been asking so many questions and spinning wheels to find the answers.  And in the meantime we’ve been making a baby-now-toddler, who has a mind of her own like everyone else, perform on a daily basis for one of thirteen or more adults.  And she is sick of it.

I’ve been canceling more appointments lately, than I’ve been keeping.  I often know that we’re going to go to therapy or to meet a new doctor and Kelsey’s going to cry, whine, and refuse to perform. The therapists, doctors and well-meaning adults in general, are going to ask questions even though many know her so well now.  Is she tired?  Is it nap time?  Does she do this for other therapists?  Is she hungry?  What’s the matter??!?!? So I cancel to avoid it all for both of us. And we go to the park or library instead (and by library I mean Target)…exactly where a two year old belongs.  😉

I’m struggling with the fact that she so badly needs the therapy, but it makes both of us miserable…and often wastes a therapist’s time and a lot of money…and not that much is accomplished.

And then something like this happens…

Just yesterday, Kelsey climbed the entire flight of stairs for the first time.  And she did it so effortlessly.  We try this every week at therapy and it’s labored, coerced, loud (crying), and heart-breaking to watch.  She just hasn’t wanted to–or been ready to–do it.  But because her brother was in front with her favorite toys, and I was behind her guiding her along…she happily climbed on her own.

I’m glad we got the helpers and some answers, but now I think we just need time.  I am so grateful for all the therapists in our life (Ben has a nice, long list himself), but sometimes I wonder if Kelsey just needs to be a seizure-free kid for awhile with some time and freedom to figure it out on her own.

Until then, we will keep plugging along.  We’re happy that summer is here…vacations are coming…and that schedules might be more relaxed.  We just might use the time to take a break from so many appointments and enjoy the ride a little more.  Anyone that can relate to the therapy hamster wheel, feel free to send me a message!  Misery loves company.

7 thoughts on “Help and Time

  1. Kim,
    I’m so excited that Kelsey climbed the stairs! it’s the start of many other milestones to come. Thrilled that we won’t have to carry her up the steps anymore too. I think you’re so right!
    Both Kelsey and you need a break from going to so many therapists. She must feel like “just leave me alone & I’ll do it MY way! Luv, Mom

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Momma knows best!!! Trust your gut. We joined a pool for the first time this year. If you ever want to come (and bring whomever you’d like along with you) let me know.

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  3. Trust your gut and your heart!! You guys are amazing parents!! She will get there…sometimes the path might just be a little different. You all are on quite a journey….a marathon, not a sprint. You’ve got it – keep it up!!

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  4. For u guys recently “life is a bitch” so it time for changing to “life is a beach”. You deserve at least a two month break. Very heartening to hear Kelsey was able to do steps on her own. Hope you have a great summer. Love u Uncle Jack.

    Liked by 1 person

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